Closed Reading Analysis W9: My Tongue begs for the Power of Speech
“My tongue begs for the power of speech that is Your gift to us; for silence gets its style of representation from Your gift to us. The melancholic weeping of those who live with disappointment is Your gift to us." This piece stood out to me because upon reading the author’s history, I discovered that none of his seven children lived beyond fifteen months, not to mention that his wife’s nephew who he adopted as his son died, along with his wife (587). In addition, Ghalib fell in love again with a low-caste Hindu courtesan, who also died at a young age, whose loss he mourned publicly (588). These types of tragedies are unbearable without some type of hope in a higher explanation. Therefore, I believe the dialect in the poem appears to a greater degree a supplication than a sonnet. In numerous religions there is a certain reverence one has when addressing God. The author is by all accounts requesting permission to speak freely to God concerning the gut wrenching pain he is experien...
Hello Tiffany!
ReplyDeleteReading your project helped give me a new insight into the Bartleby story, which I fully enjoyed. Your first draft of this project is strong because it really embraces the topic of how this story relates to your life. Starting out with your promotion and how that then transpired in how you handled your friend in comparison to the old lawyer, I felt, were spot on references. It also makes the writing more personable and relatable since you incorporated a boss-to-employee example in reflection to a story centered around that kind of relationship. The third paragraph was your strongest but it was also the most content heavy in relationship to your other paragraphs. And honestly, aside from a few grammar corrections here and there, there isn't much to critique. I felt your project was strong and very interesting to read from start to finish and I look forward to reading more from you!
Hi Tiffany!
ReplyDeleteI would just like to say that I liked your projects personal take and how you used your own life to contrast and compare to the literature. I see why you chose this work since you had a personal connection with it. I have not read such personal work in this class before and it was very refreshing. However it is also more difficult to give feedback as I do not wish to offend, as some people tend to feel personally attacked when feedback is given on personal work.
Structure wise I enjoyed your thesis, however I would maybe use a comma in your last sentence of the paragraph or maybe phrase it a little differently. you write "I learned that my passiveness was rooted in my inability to deal with confrontation and avoidance never solves problems." but it sounds like you have a problem dealing with confrontation and avoidance, not saying that avoidance solves nothing.
Over all I don't really have much more to say other than read through a few times out loud to make sure it all flows off easily. I find that always helps me.
Hello Again Tiffany!
ReplyDeleteI am commenting on Week 12
I noticed in your third paragraph you used a rather long quote “with any other man I should have flown outright into a dreadful passion, scorned all further words, and thrust him ignominiously from my presence. But there something about Bartleby that not only strangely disarmed me, but in a wonderful manner touched and disconcerted me. I began to reason with him” (303)
I would suggest separating this from the body and using the indent rule for MLA fomat. Also, I'm not sure if there was text before this quote. If there was you may want to use "... with any other man - ".
I loved ho you said "He seems to admire Bartleby, which speaks to the lawyer’s character. He is not confident in himself as a man or a lawyer, which is the reason he does not hire individuals who are competent."! I think this would be an excellent idea to expand on since it is very close to the thesis of why people may accept bad behavior or accept it.
I have to say great work on your project! The few mistakes I picked up on right away were grammatical errors but besides that, your project seems to be fine. I thank you for your project giving me more insight on the Bartleby story because I had trouble understanding it at first but you were able to explain it quite well! I also liked that you were able to establish a connection with the story and your real life experiences, which I find difficult to do with my real life experiences. How different do you think the story would've been if the lawyer was a bit more assertive, especially with the behavior of his employees? Great work and keep at it! Can't wait to see what the finished project will look like!
ReplyDeleteHey Tiffany, I'm commenting on your second project! I liked your topic's introduction as you made an interesting point on whether doing the easy way of life should be applied at work when bad things are happening. I personally think it depends on your position as well. It's much easier to be able to address the situation if you're a manager but if you're new to the company, it's best to let things be the way they are and adapt to them for as long as possible. Anyways, I liked how you proved that why people allow bad behavior to occur by what you were able to extract from the text. In the text, you were able to extract the idea that the reason the lawyer was putting up with bad behavior was due to his lack of self belief. Overall, I liked your post but there was one issue I had which was that in some paragraphs, you inserted long quotations from the text. It isn't that of an issue but i personally think it gives less room for your analysis. I think picking parts of quotations and then isolating the words used by the author can add more depth to the analysis.
ReplyDeleteHey Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteGreat job overall on your second project submission! Your first paragraph does a great job of introducing your topic and what you will be writing about. There is one line specifically that stood out to me, it read “However, in reality, avoiding conflict, especially in the workplace simply means you accept the bad behavior of others as opposed to addressing it.” This is a great insight and forces us readers to challenge ourselves in our avoidance of conflict. You also did well to compare your situation to that of the lawyer and narrator. I think it lined up with your theme very nicely and gave a good real life comparison to draw from. The only problems I saw with your project were grammatical ones, but other than that I think the submission is great! I look forward to reading more of your submissions, keep up the good work!
HI Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteGreat job with your second project. I liked most how you were really able to relate to the story and draw multiple connections. I too have been in your position and it is not easy. I had a co-worker and friend that i worked with and I was supposed to be his boss, but it was hard. He came in regularly 45 min late but I just couldn't get him to take me serious. Its great that you were able to find this connection to the story and were able to prove it with the quotes you found in the text. Aside from very small grammatical errors, I thought you did an awesome job!
-Patrick
Hey Tiffany. I really enjoyed reading your project. There were some funny moments that I unfortunately related to all too well. I've worked with so many people who failed to fix issues that everyone noticed. It's like they really don't care haha. Moving on, your analysis was really well written and you incorporated your own personal experiences into the analysis in a way that was very smooth. It never felt like you were suddenly throwing us back and forth from analysis to real life. Both subjects were equally presented alongside each other for an organized read. I also felt like I learned something from reading your project, so I'm genuinely impressed by that. At work, I would always make up for the lazier employees' work by picking up the slack as needed. Sure, it made my managers love me, but it really would have made my workload easier if I had either confronted the slackers or mentioned it to my managers. But what you said in your analysis is why I would avoid doing so: I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
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